What to Expect @ BLVD Number 5

By Cassie McBlane

If you ask that gentleman over there where BLVD Number 5 is, he will tell you that it is located on the corner of Queensbridge St next to McDonald’s, and unfortunately for this venue, the fast-food giant does seem more appealing.

However, upon arrival, we were greeted by a friendly bartender who showed us to the lounges in the heated courtyard, where we took comfort on the black and red leather couches. Instantly, we were taken away by their quick customer service, though it took only a few more minutes to realise that the entire place was empty, apart from what seemed to be fellow staff guzzling down shots behind us.

After getting over the impressiveness of the sheltered marquee courtyard, the girls and I stopped to ponder the drink specials, which are conveniently placed on the wall that runs along the border of the venue. If you’re a Thursday night wanderer, great – you can keep your wallet overflowing with $12 Carlton Draught jugs or a $12 cocktail. Any other night and you should be prepared to hack into your good old spendings account.

The ‘Top 5 Cocktail’ menu does not suffice the need for choice that we felt ourselves looming with, and instead we took it upon us to ask a bartender what other varieties they had available. Don’t make the same mistake we did. The gentleman will tell you about his six years of specialized training in bar-tending and go on to list 150 cocktails that he is able to create for you. In the end, the girls picked the first one he suggested: a concoction of vanilla vodka, lychee, passionfruit and lemonade, which he named ‘Sweet Fire’.

As pretty as the indoor restaurant and dining area is – decorated with brown diamond patterning along the walling and black contemporary tiling – it is also a great distance from being clean. Mud marks, grease marks and dust is visible inside and outside and the toilet hallway gives off a ‘pub vibe’, smelling like urine and drunken men. Inside the ladies toilets nothing changes, especially the toilet water, as the toilets struggle to flush. But for the ladies, there is a vertical ceiling to floor mirror – great for those Facebook photos.

Coming out of the bathrooms, we were forced to endure the bartender dancing in the empty restaurant, and his fellow colleague cheering him on. Sorry guys, but we aren’t impressed by your moves – or lack thereof. And where is that drink menu I asked for?

Before we headed back to the outdoor courtyard, we wandered upstairs to the second floor, which – if you have visited the website – is intended to be a spectacular view that overlooks the Yarra River. I’m sure that underneath and behind the cluttered mess of chairs and lounges, there would be a lovely sight for the eyes to feast on.

The club room is set up with purple and black lounges, with a fireplace that really sets the room. The bar extends along the side wall and there is plenty of room to dance your cares away – as long as it is a Saturday night. Every other night, the upstairs section of BLVD becomes a similar sight to that of an attic and lacks any appeal whatsoever and it is hard to gain a proper insight as to what age groups would be likely to call this place their haven considering we were the only ones to step foot into its depths.

You can count on the service for one thing though – and that is that they deliver the bill to you almost instantly after ordering. They do let you split it, though; convenient for you, but merely a feast for their hungry registers.

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