The Bottom End Review

Review by Iman Aziz

I’m sure you’ve walked down Little Collins Street on a Saturday night, suddenly noticing a long line of people standing in front of that ‘club’ you never noticed existed. Yeah, the one with the attractive door girl and scarier than usual looking bouncers. Occasionally you might have witnessed a brawl or two occurring on the street parallel to it, but that’s nothing new.

And then you wonder, “What’s in here?”

Say hello to The Bottom End. Whilst on the weekdays it is mostly known for its diner-like atmosphere and delicious drinks, on Saturday nights this location is completely transformed into a two-storey discotheque with a bottom story diner, with food running until 4am. Food AND drinks AND dancing in one place? Perfect. Drinks that are served include icy fresh beer and cider, as well as spirits and cocktails. To the right of your entry, you will find a very crowded smokers area, filled to the brim with the most eclectic mix of people you’ll find. Personally, the people I’ve met here vary from super rad to “I really don’t understand what you’re talking about".

Whilst door charge is free during the week, on Saturday nights it costs $25 ($20 on a list) for entry, although with the time you’ll spend in there, it definitely won’t disappoint.

After a few cheeky drinks downstairs, a chat with your mates, or a quick think of “Why the fuck are there so many Jesus portraits down here?” (I’m convinced the Jesus décor is a hip, new thing), it’s time to head up to level one, also known as SURVIVOR! Club of Legends. The name itself says it all really. Here you’ll be graced with two options: either the hip-hop room where you’re very likely to find vodka limes sitting untouched and the sound of Azealia Banks’ 212 being played multiple times. The second option is what could be called the ‘rave room'. Think smoke machines, minimal light, and obscure European dance music.

On a sidenote, make your way to the bathroom on this floor and you’ll see trippy glow in the dark paintings too, which is always fun.

If you choose to proceed to the top level of SURVIVOR!, you will drunkenly stumble across yet another club, known as POOF DOOF. I’m just gonna cut to the point - it’s a gay club that plays fabulous h-h-h-house music. Both clubs have that common “let’s get dancey” theme, and the best bit is, if you’re shit-faced and/or flying your night doesn’t even have to end there because you can always just stay until you literally cannot open your eyelids anymore at Sunday Morning After Hours, then stumble home on the 7.30am tram or something more or less equally embarrassing.

What else would you need to define an epic night out?

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