La Di Da Review

Review By Sophie Lane

"Well Larrr die dar" (cue snooty head tilt and subsequent posh nose sniffle). In practicing my best impersonation of the Queen, I felt that after ten repetitions I was ready to remove the tattered book off my head and head out to Little Bourke Street's royally named La Di Da. Upon approach, a three hundred metre line up of "eff offs" and "screw yous" told me that maybe, just maybe I had misinterpreted the labelling on my social cup of chamomile tea.

Despite the ragged line up of girls who seem to think the derogatory 'c' word is a term of endearment from their fellow male counterparts, once entering La Di Da, exclusivity is sure to overwhelm. That said, I wouldn't bother wearing a glass slipper. After skimming my eyes across the room I could hardly imagine "DJ-wikki-shizz" searching high and low for his Cinderella. No, he was happy face sucking with the tall blonde to his left. Oh, high class society.

Once fighting my way through the entrance room, which comprises of hip hop and "letting your hips swing", I made my way to the main room. Her royal highness was home at last.

Thick, gold framed paintings slick the wide open walls of La Di Da's central room, encompassing abstract pictures of young girls and boys playing happily. I look around and see a girl dancing on a table, while a boy gleefully watches. I wonder where the inspiration for such paintings came from? The bar service is extremely slow, and after being ignored five times whilst shouting "Champagne! Champagne! One! Please!" multiple times to no avail, I begin to feel like a poor pauper. I decide to order two at once after grabbing the attention of the bar tender to avoid an Oliver-esque "Sir, can I please have some more?" moment.

In complaining about the bar service, it's no black plague. The list of cocktails and drink variations reminds me that I'm actually not that poor sod Oliver, and contrastingly, I actually have a lot to be grateful for. The large side balcony smoke room being just one.

The smoke room comprises of a large strip of concrete leading off the bar and through glass doors. The open roof makes going outside for a breath of fresh air speak more truth than the usual smoker euphemism.

The average age at La Di Da is yet another breath of fresh air. Unlike most Melbourne "clubs", the age group is slightly older and more sophisticated than the usual 'pash and dash' pubs which prove so popular with the newest members to overage venues.

The upstairs room is dark and a little bit dirty, but provides a more relaxed feel to the venue. They had to provide for all levels of society after all (nose tilt). As I sway my arse away from a grab, I feel as though maybe it's time to leave the minions to their meat platter and head home for that cup of chamomile tea that I originally set out for.

La Di Da provides a night out with all of the nightlife gold trimmings, just remember to leave those glass slippers at home.